Wholes

I've been smoking mostly lime green American Spirits lately. Mellow menthol. My cousin picked up a pack of Djarum Blacks for me last weekend, so I've been mixing those clove cigars in every now and then. Cute how they're cigars. I guess the papers are really leaves, or some kind of leaf composite. Finally found some Camel Wides over the weekend and had to pick those up to see what they're all about. It's true: they're wide.

Took a yellow to LaGuardia today and spotted a TSA agent nearby who I could ask about finding a good smoking spot. By the time I got out of the cab, he had sparked one up himself; when I asked, he directed me to either end of the terminal. I chuckled inside, thinking about how powerful he felt smoking right there, while telling passengers to walk on. But it wasn't far, so I didn't even think of asking if I could stand where he was, giving him a chance to actually exercise that unconfirmed power. I just walked away.

Standing over at the skinny part of the sidewalk--the part you drive by and get ready to slap any driver who even thinks about dropping you off at because there's insufficient room to maneuver and it's unnecessarily far from the entrances--I set my bags down and reached into my pocket for a clove. Dug around in one of the outside pockets of my backpack for a lighter. Saw metal on wheels passing by, dropping off human cargo for transfer to larger  metal conveyors. Lit the clove. Watched more people. Saw couples in cabs, heading to the airport together. And this is where I stopped and reminisced.

I used to fly out every Monday morning. Every couple of weeks, I had someone to share a cab with. Those moments, the moments you know are the last you'll have with someone you love until next you meet, they're special. Even if she's sleeping and you just have your arm around her, they're the culmination of your time together until your next time together; whether that next time ever comes or not doesn't matter that much. There's something beautiful in an ending, in being able to look back on the whole of something.

I've kept you waiting long enough

And so here is my first post after the reboot.

As with much of my writing, which often comes out of my brain as quickly as it enters or I risk losing it forever, this has no title.



When you woke up this morning, you had this feeling you've never felt before. You knew today would be different. You knew today, something was going to happen that hasn't happened to you before. You knew today, someone you've never met before would say something or do something to you that would stay with you forever. You knew today would be a turning point in your life.

Every day when I wake up, I know the day will be different. I know I'm going to feel things I've felt before, do things I've done before, but small things would be different. I know, every day, someone I've never met before will hear something I've never said before and it will change her life. I know, every day, that there are things I do and say that stay with people forever. I know every day is a turning point in my life.

Reboot

I want to start a new blog for actual written stuff, and not just Facebook comments that maybe only I find funny, living in my own world. I like the name of this blog so instead of starting yet another, I'm going to reboot this one as my more conventional blog.

True to form, I don't have any plans (literally, none... frequency, topics, style, etc.), just a shitload of ideas. Whatever comes out of my head and lands on this blog, though, I assure you will be worth the trip. Expect the first few real posts over the coming week.

I am a passionate dancer.